First Week in Panama

As soon as we cleared customs, a man in a uniform loaded our bags onto the cart and showed us outside where the taxis were, started talking to one and told us to get in. The whole process took only 2 minutes and ended up costing us $30 with tip for the guy we thought was an airport employee and extra large cab fare for the fresh clueless foreigners.

The first days we spent in a hostel-like hotel. The last 5 days have been in the house of an AIESEC Alum couple.

Here are the first impressions of this place which is Panama city:

1) I thought it was a "poor" country. It is not. This is a very developed, middle class kind of place. It is not necessarily cheaper to live here than in Austin. In looking for an apartment, there is a plethora of new luxurious loft style places that cost between $2000 and $5000 a month. We have had a challenge in finding a place in our price range that is not in the ghetto. (Don't worry, Mom. I am not living in the ghetto) Panama is in the middle of a real estate boom.

Of course, the other side of this development is that every comfort is available here. In the big supermarkets, 80% of the cereal brands are the same as I'd find in HEB. Any time I'm homesick, I can go buy honey bunches of oats, Oreos, JIF peanut better or thousands of other things that are just like home.

2) Panama City is dynamic. It is beautiful and ugly, modern and traditional, a place with every international chain where no one voluntarily speaks a language besides Panamanian ( a variety of Spanish ;).

3) The people. All tourist info propaganda I read before coming here said how hospitable Panamanians are. Well... I keep being surprised at how cold the clerks and salespeople are to me and to other customers. It is not universally friendly. Someone from New York city wouldn't mind... it's very down to business, every-man-for-himself. But it's not what I expected from a tropical, Caribbean country. I get the sense though, that it is only skin deep. On a few occasions, when some experience breaks the routine, I felt genuine friendliness. Like when a lady walked in on me washing my hands in the bathroom (apologized profusely) and I saw her later behind the counter making sandwiches. She caught my eye and gave me one of the most open and warm smiles I'd seen in a long time. Peep saw it too and seemed transfixed, "Wow. I think that's the first smile we've seen here."

4) The food. lots of seafood, fruit and fried things. There are 5 star restaurants and vendors with carts. We experiment with different places. It is a kind of riddle to find where are the places that are good and cheap. So far, I have not deciphered the pattern, experiencing all ranges of price and quality without an ability to predict.

5) Perhaps you would ask me about the canal, so I'll write something. Yes, the canal is cool, I've seen the end of it and I saw it snaking through the jungle from the plane. But living in Panama and focusing on the canal would be like living in San Fransisco and focusing on the harbor. The Canal is not the essence of Panama city, in fact I get the sense that it is a kind of indulged foreign body. It was built by French and Americans and owned by other countries for most of its life.

These are my favorite things so far:

1) Food! I found my two favorite fruits here that I have not really had since Thailand (rambuttan and mangosteen). I ate a cup of 2$ ceviche that was soooo delicious. We eat fried whole fish that is really fresh and costs 3$. And there are fried bananas called tarjadas that make it worth getting up in the morning. Fresh fruit juice stand and stores are prevalent (1$-2$).

2) The sea! It is cool to live by the sea. We have not yet traveled from the city nor seen any exquisite beaches (though they do exist). But it is cool to see Pelicans circling skyscrapers and to feel the salty humid wind.

3) Spanish! I am practicing a little bit with people, also watching TV and reading newspapers with dictionary in hand.

4) Friends! The couple we are staying with is really nice and taking care of us (until we can move into our own apartment). "Fito" is Panamanian, former MCP (AIESEC) and he is with us everyday, making us speak Spanish and practice, taking us places and showing us things. Bozhena is Polish, former AIESEC trainee in Mexico and speaks fluent Spanish, now working in Trinidad for 2 weeks.

5) Tropical plants! I have seen orchids that are so big in peoples yards, they function as bushes. I have seen trees that are bigger than the biggest oak trees in Texas, covered with Bromeliads, scattered around in the busy, congested city.

6) I like being here with Peep. He is my best friend. We get along really well. We can walk along getting lost on purpose, discovering things, be silent or talk for hours. I have discovered new countries many times, but never like this -with someone else. It's cool, kind of like bringing a piece of home with me. It makes the experience gentler.

So! On the horizon... Soon we are going to get out of the city and explore a bit of Panamanian nature, maybe beach, maybe jungle, maybe both. Peep will start work on Monday again with Frontier TV. He will work on London time, so that will make for an interesting schedule. We will be moving into our own apartment also sometime in the next week or so (si Dios quiere). I hope to put some structure to my Spanish immersion (don't know what form it will take: class, volunteer... Just need to be in a place with lots of people speaking Spanish to me).

Hasta pronto!

The Next Adventure Begins in 3 Days

I am moving to Panama. I will meet Peep on Friday morning at the Houston airport and we will fly together to Panama city to see what life is there and to partake of it. We have gotten in touch with some very gracious AIESEC Alum who've said they'll help us get situated.

Everyone asks me, "So what's in Panama?" "Why Panama?" These questions put me on the spot and make my ears go red because I don't have any kind of answer that is conventionally a good reason to go. But this is how it came to be.

Peep and I want to be together, but both the USA and EU are difficult to work in for foreigners and they are expensive. I also feel that it would be nice to try out what life is like with each other when not influenced by either homeland (and not restricted by Islamic laws, as in Dubai). We can see what its like to just be us and be free.

I want to be fluent in Spanish. I have been speaking it since I was 2 and I've never really been able to speak it. Khalas! Time to learn!

Panama seems like a great dream to go after. I have no idea what it will be like, but maybe it will be really relaxed -have some Caribbean vibe. Maybe there will be really good cheap street food. Maybe the beaches will be gorgeous with crystal teal water. Maybe there are awesome people there waiting to be my friends. Maybe I will learn history and culture and geography about a place about which I now can only claim ignorance. Maybe we will get dressed up in glitter and feathers for Carnaval. Maybe I will become a rum connoisseur. Maybe we will live in an apartment that is in walking distance from a lot of cool places with an extra bedroom. Maybe my friends and family will visit me and share in my adventure.

Tides and Tidings of health

I am having an adventure with my body. I suppose there are as many possibilities of what can go wrong with the body as there are stars in the sky. Ligaments and hormones and red blood cells and glands... millions and millions. That many of them should veer from their normal paths all at the same time could be Murphy's Law or it could be argument for the merits of holistic healing. I am not in any serious harm, but there was a cancer scare, a fertility complication scare, a thyroid imbalance and high cholesterol all within 3 weeks.

For the last several months, I have had no plans. I sometimes feel like I am waiting. It is really inconvenient to not have plans. Others would like to make plans and incorporate me, I can only smile and say I don't know, over and over again. And when I meet new people or see old friends, it is awkward to explain myself. I cannot see into my future, not even 18 hours.

My mom has very kindly given me an acupuncture "package". Nice ladies who care a lot (DeAnn Newbold) poke needles into me and chart my progress. My sister Jayme dotes over me and makes me not feel alone, gives me supplements to eat. Sometimes I shell hundreds of dollars to clinics to be subjected to harsh machines and needles.

I am young and full of vitality, just passing through the first of perhaps a few more shadows hinting that my invincibility was a glorious illusion. It is just a small temporary shadow, and I will be back having more boastful adventures soon.

An Ocean Between... Again

I took Peep to the Airport two days ago, in lightening, thunder and pouring rain. We have said goodbye this way so many times: the line at security slowly moves, every now and then we wave... and then he is gone.






While he was here, we had a great time. He met every member of my family and many of my friends. I wanted him to come here, to see where I came from, and he did... I feel it has made us closer.






And we had such a great road trip! One month on the road, 24 hours together every day, and we still like each other! We saw so many magnificent things, every few days we were in another world: Huge fast cities, silent ancient forests, chilly spring mountains, vast magestic desert formations, homes of family and friends, Motel 6 with HBO, camping in dirt and leaves.



Waiting behind the sensational daily adventures, and sometimes peeking out into conversation, was the reality that we don't know where and when we will be together next. EU and USA sometimes feel like a fish and a bird...

There are so many things to achieve in this world- and we like to achieve. How do we best invest in our individual success and make sure we are together? It is really hard.

Certainly this kind of love is something I have always wanted to have, so I will keep it and hold it. We will find a way.

Northern California

We are staying with Blake and Carla in Stockton, California. Blake and Carla and I are all Aunts/uncle of Jayda, so it is good to spend time together: probably we will know each other our whole lives.

Before being here, we were in San Fransisco. My dad told me when I was about 12 that I belonged in Northern California.(He had fond memories from hitchiking there with the other flower children). I could live in San Fransisco very easily: it's international, green, beautiful buildings, good food. It looked like a little toy town, modelled after a European city: the buldings were narrow and tall, all in a row, painted pink and tan and green. We stayed with an old friend of Peep's named Tony, from Indonesia. I am glad to know him because he is a very sweet fellow, and through his own sad stories of corporate imprisonment and failed international romances, he was giving us advice.

The winding ocean road that lead us to San Fransisco (Hwy 1) invited us to camp inside aredwood grove near a waterfall and showed us fat lazy seals on the cold grey sand below. It was awesome.

Today we will chat some more with the californai Bombens (we have learned so much already about wine and hospitals and the world), then we will drive our tired but loyal Sally to the Yosemite National Park, where we hope to get lost for at least a few days.

California Dreaming

We drove through New Mexico. We got to see an auction presided by my Uncle Jim. Peep got a true cultural experience... Jim introduced us ("Peep from Estonia"), to which a few responded... "Is that south of Texas?" "That's past Mayfield isn't it?" It was a barn of crystal and candles and clocks for 1$ and 2$. We drove through that valley and up to the mountains again, with the aim of camping in the Gila forest, which I have heard so much about.



We got up there around dusk... it was so cold. We piled up our gear and set to walking up and on, trusting that a flat campable space would appear. As the bags got heavier and the light grew fainter, we crossed a fence guarding who know what and began to set up our camp. We dug a fire pit and lined it with rocks... we were so nervous, having just visited my uncle's volunteer fire department, we built the wall up about 2 feet. We had so much fun. We were such a good team.


At night, it got colder and colder. We had our shoes and hats and jackets on underneath two sleeping bags. We woke in the morning to find ourselves covered in snow. I wanted to crawl back under the warmth and pretend I didn't see it. Peep convinced me to evacuate. It was surreal to see snow in May.

Windy mountain roads took us to Arizona, where we wanted to see the Apache reservation. We got there around 6 pm. On the road we saw that permits were required to camp, so we set out to find a permit. The police station was empty, the permit office was closed on sunday, it was almost dark. We had to camp, so we set out to find a spot and buy the permit tomorrow. The place had a special feeling. It really was like being in another country. The lake we found was peaceful and full of life, but also lots of trash and graffiti. I wanted to see the Apaches be more proud of their land.

In the morning, the Apache Ranger found us and gave us a citation. We were not afraid because we didn't think we really had done anything wrong. Our intentions were so good... I thought it we could not be blamed if the office was closed. Wrong. We parted the Apache nation and left an investment of $160.


We drove through the desert and almost camped in Joshua Tree until we both admitted we'd rather pay the money for a shower and a bed. Yesterday, we hung out in Santa Monica. I think we are both very California souls. So far, we love it here. Here is a picture of a forest fire we drove past... the news said it was devastating.







On the Santa Monica promenade, we saw someone carrying a gap (red) bag. So we went to check it out. We had heard of this. It is part of the One campaign (go sign up at www.one.org). The one campaign is to end poverty. There is also the red campaign (www.redcampaign.org), both were started/headlined by Bono. The red campaign is to fight AIDS in Africa. It is so cool. Businesses are being asked to carry red products, from which 100% of profits go to fight AIDS in Africa. So all you have to do is go shopping and you're saving the planet.




Next, we will check out Hollywood and Beverly Hills, maybe Universal Studios, try to meet up with Lily in Santa Barbara, head north on hwy 1, and see what happens

Road Trip!!

We are on the 3rd day of our Southwest adventure, in Cloudcroft New Mexico with my Uncle Jim and Aunt Bev.

We started the trip in San Antonio by watching the Spurs beat the Nuggets in the NBA playoffs. The next day, Peep got to meet my 90 year old grandfather Carl and after lots of dessert and pictures and history, we drove to San Angelo where we could go no further and stayed in a Motel 6! It's not a road trip until you spend the night in a Motel 6. The next day (yesterday) we drove 8 hours to Cloudcroft, stopping to greet the Aliens in Roswell.

Now we are surrounded by mountains and pine forest. This morning we saw 4 wild elk in the yard.

We don't have a schedule or any definite plan. Major things we want to see are: an Apache reservation, Los Angeles, HWY 1, San Fransisco, Yosemite, Las Vegas, Grand Canyon, Zion National Park. Other than that, we will stop when we see cool stuff, spend lots of time hiking and camping and getting in touch with people around the country.

We have no schedule, but we do have goals and guiding principals.

These are the goals:

• Have fun


• Learn about each other/ develop our relationship


• See beautiful, inspiring things


• Develop relationships with people we meet/ stay with

These are the principles:

• Whatever happens is the best thing that could have happened (No "we should have," "if only," etc.)


• If there is an issue, we talk about it


• We choose delight (we do not pass up fields of wildflowers where we long to frolic in order to get there faster)


• Carpe Diem (when something cool and unexpected invites us, we do it)

With these, we will track our progess.