What I learned about Being well for 1 month

The purpose of my little experiment, which is over today, was to give myself a taste of a different way of living - a way that might be better than my normal way - without the gravity of permanent change hence making it doable.

Surprising conclusions of my experiment:

 - It is much harder than I thought it would be to train my thinking to put my wellbeing first.  Over the years, I always thought, my little masochistic ways were a temporary veil over a possibility that would always be there for me.  But as soon as I focused my attention on it, I discovered what a weak little infant that part of me truly is.  It was not something I could do just because I decided to.  My mind has habits of thinking.  Noticing this was a little horrifying - that I can imprison myself in my old ways against my will.

- The most beneficial therapy is harmful if the environment or practitioner doesn't suit.  This really surprised me. I have up until now believed that I should not let interpersonal dynamics get in the way of receiving a valuable service.  When I hear other people rejecting a (hair stylist, dentist, massage therapist) because they didn't like them personally, or don't like the building it's in or smth, I have thought that let's the small things get in the way.  But I was so surprised to notice how uncomfortable I was at times, even though whatever treatment/therapy etc I had bought for myself was well executed - it did not always contribute to my wellbeing.  So now I will be one of those weird people who pays more and drives further just to have the one I like - and it is worth it.

- Another surprise: primping is good for me.  I used to think this was shallow and a waste of time.  But I feel remarkably better just going through my day when I feel that I look good. Even writing that makes me feel embarrassed.

- Dairy is truly bad for me.  I have seen a lot of improvements in the way I am and feel physically since going off it.  I knew that gluten and caffeine were bad for me, but the result I have seen from going off dairy is so good, I will give up ice cream. 30 days ago I think I wouldn't have known who I was without ice cream.

- I did not succeed in going to bed early every night and writing for an hour every day.  It was really hard to fit that in my lifestyle.  I will still try.

- I love exercise! I take a regular weight lifting class and I have become addicted - never would have thought.  I combine it with a steam sauna and deep tissue massage and that is where it's at!!

-hip hop aerobics is my new religion.  Dancing like this connects me to my lower chakras and it nourishes my soul.

Mostly I noticed that this month was not a month in which I lived in my perfect way - rather, it was a month to figure out what my perfect way is.  I overestimated how much I knew about what I want and need, having focused so little attention on it all along.  I am blessed to have my husband - who totally supported my little project and wants me to continue it.

So going forward, I am keeping the exercise and hip hop, selective occasional deep tissue massage, low gluten and no dairy.  I will keep trying to write more and sleep more. I will keep making my brain practice a new way of thinking.

I think I stressed myself out a little bit over this, as per usual (trying to do what I am doing really well), cramming lots of "wellbeing activities" into my week rather than listening to my inner whims.  I will go forward more relaxed and just try to do a better job of letting myself have what I want.

Thanks for listening :)